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Month: September 2008

raya ?

Currently feeling: Melancholic
Currently listening to: Falling Down – Muse

I believe this would be the second worst Raya ever.
The first (which goes without mentioning), was the year Mummy left.
This year I am having a hard time pinpointing why I can’t seem to get myself out of this dreary state I have been in for almost a week now.
Maybe it’s because I have finally graduated and she’s not here to witness it all.
Not here to celebrate with me. With us.
Maybe it’s because I had some plans for this Raya as I thought I would be earning already. I have failed in realizing any of them.
I yearn to decorate the house with pretty Raya cards like we used to.
I yearn to have visitors over without having to worry about how the house looks like or what we have to serve. She would have had everything taken care of.

These past few days have been awful.
I am starting to feel bad for my neighbours who I am pretty sure are very sick of having to listen to the sounds of a girl weeping uncontrollably while talking to her boyfriend in the middle of the night (every night).

As at now, tears are overflowing already !
I am hopeless.

I just want to be left alone this Raya, please.

Anyway, hope the rest of you are and will have a good time.
Salam Aidilfitri everyone.
Have a blessed Raya.


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Currently feeling: Sad
Currently listening to: Nothing

My placement letter arrived today. Alhamdulillah.
I called up the Jabatan Kesihatan Wilayah Persekutuan, Kuala Lumpur and I was told to report there on the 6th.
I’m pretty sure we’re gonna have to start working the very next day (or maybe that evening itself ?).
I’m trying very hard to relax and not think about me not having a place to stay and having no idea how to get to work, yet because I will only find out which hospital I’d be placed in on the 6th itself.
But that’s working life I guess.
I’d have to keep reminding myself to be grateful and to take things as they come.

The whole idea of starting work is scaring me a bit.
I believe I can remember more about what’s going on in Britney Spears’ life (as a result of being a very,very ardent reader of the online tabloids) than what dose of carbamazepine to give to an epileptic patient.

I have this real special ability to automatically and continuously place food in my mouth even when I am not hungry.
This ability annoys me at times.

I need a new weighing scale.


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Currently feeling: Flabby
Currently listening to: Nothing

I changed my mobile number for the zillionth time.
I apologize if I have caused any trouble to anyone.
I’m gonna try to stick to this one.
For at least one year. Haha.
But seriously, I am gonna try to keep this one.
I kinda really like the number.

I haven’t received my placement letter yet and I am in a sort of confused state right now. My friend from UIAM told me that her friends who were placed in HUKM or PPUM, were told to report at those hospitals, so she claims that I would be posted in Putrajaya. But another classmate of mine actually was told to report to Putrajaya and I wasn’t.
Confusing enough ?
I guess I’d just wait for the official letter. But knowing me, I can’t really get this whole thing outta my head.


I need to get a place to stay, eh ?
I’m gonna try to get a room all to myself this time around.

I have skipped working out for three days in a row now.
I was pretty tied up over the weekend and I was just plain lazy today.
This seriously cannot go on. I wouldn’t wanna balloon up (again).
I don’t need to be 46 kilograms like I used to because looking back at my old photos, it’s true when people say I don’t really look good at that weight.
I’d be pretty satisfied if I can maintain my weight at 48/49 kilograms.
I think.
I hope.

Raya is next week and I hope I am still eligible for some duit Raya since I am still unemployed. Hee.
It still doesn’t feel the same without Mummy around.

Uncle Razak and Uncle Tan came over last Sunday with heaps of food for buka. Chee Cheong Fun, Nasi Dagang, Nasi Kerabu, some local kuih and cupcakes !
It was so sweet of them. I was so satiated !
It’s sad that I had to cancel on Annisa yet again on that day. Sigh.

I honestly just wanna stay at home this week.

Has anyone watched Mamma Mia ?
I plan to bring the sister out to watch it after she’s done with her exams.

I miss my Sunshine.


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