anx·i·e·ty   [ang-zahy-i-tee]
–noun, plural -ties.
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
2. earnest but tense desire; eagerness: He had a keen anxiety to succeed in his work.
3. Psychiatry . a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder. source

At 30 weeks pregnant, I am plagued with anxiety 24-7.

I am starting have second thoughts about delivering my baby in a government hospital, no thanks to my brief yet traumatizing (haha) maternity ward admission last week.

I doubt I am capable to withstand the pain which comes along with labour. I have a wayyy low pain threshold.
I am afraid that I would not be able to stop myself from screaming in pain and the nurses/doctor would get annoyed and angry at me and I would get depressed and that would lead to me not having enough energy to push and………………………….

I am unsure whether I have it in me to be a good mother. I have never been good with babies. I don’t even know the proper way to hold a newborn ! *gasps*
Don’t get me wrong, I love babies, but I have never actually had to take care of one.

Ok, I should stop over-thinking things.

But these concerns of mine are normal, right ? RIGHHHHTTTTTT ??


Mr. Sunshine has been away in Kelantan since yesterday and will only be back this Thursday, InshaAllah. As he goes on these work trips pretty often, I have gotten quite used to staying home alone.
This time around, I am slightly nervous, especially because my hospital bag is only halfway ready. We have packed all of the baby’s necessities but as far as my essentials are concerned, there are a few more things I need to add in the bag.

Baby’s clothes washed and dried. This is just to show how cute and tiny they are !! Hehe.
 My Hospital Bag checklist

Baby’s essentials
7 pieces of disposable diapers DONE
2 pairs of rompers DONE
1 pair of long sleeved top & bottom DONE
1 bottle of telon oil DONE
I pack of baby wipes DONE
1 piece of a hooded baby towel DONE
1 piece of a hooded baby blanket DONE
2 sets of mittens & booties DONE
1 set of baby toiletries DONE
1 piece of baby binder (I wonder if I should pack more) DONE
3 pieces of washcloths DONE

Mummy’s essentials
2 pairs of blouses –
1 pair of socks DONE
2 pieces of kain batik DONE
3 pieces of nursing bras
1 pack of disposable panties (not too sure whether this will be enough) DONE
Toiletries – cleanser, toothbrush, toothpaste DONE except for my cleanser.
1 Towel DONE
1 pack of maternity pads (I packed my normal sanitary pads) DONE
1 pack of disposable breast pads DONE
1 sweater – I can’t fit any of my sweaters anymore ! Haha.
1 instant hijab
Surah Yasin
Antenatal checkup record book

Apparently I should have been done with the packing and the bag should be in the trunk of my car or somewhere near my house door, you know, just in case. *starts to panic*

I should give my back & head a rest right now before I hurt myself.


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10 Comments on she’s almost 2 kilos now !

  1. hey mel,
    based on my recent experience..u might want to add on those baby binders..and also disposable panties as the nifas blood will be a lot..i mean A LOT!!which normal sanitary pad won’t be able to soak u better get ’em maternity pads coz u really x want to be using the ones provided by the hospital…hope this helps..

    btw…juz chill k!!

  2. 30 weeks?? best best…but for me..bag for baby packed when i was 25weeks kot..but utk akak, lagi sejam nk g spital baru pack..hehehe..

    GOOD LUCK girl…push push n keep us update k

  3. apparently (according to my mom), government hospital staff have the best&most experience thus it’s “safer” to deliver at gh’s. but i don’t know… i’ve always had a bad impression that gh staff are very touch&go (cincai) maybe i’m just too atas for my own good but private hospitals still get my vote.

    also, if you’re looking to get rid of dark circles, Skin Food has a salmon eye line which costs only RM 302.70 alternatively, you could try our Gold Caviar line which actually contains flakes of 24 carat gold!! 😀 😀 😀

  4. darling,
    so agreeing with anonymous. You need to pack yourself with maternity pads.. the flow for first few days is going to be super heavy. U dont want to put on the loops. horror man i tell you.

    anxiety in the last trimester is normal. I had that even with our second baby. harharhar. But, that’s the thing u see. U need to believe in yourself. Like A LOT!! and i am sure hunter can provide a lot of emotional and moral support. Very very important as well. On top of that, du’a that things will go easy and smooth for you and baby. I think i was more excited to go into labour when i was carrying hamza than with abbas. hehehe.

    Ermm.. Dont worry too much okay. Just chill and relax.

  5. Red Clutch: Oh wow, 2 weeks earlier ye ? Nervousnya saya ! I shall remember to eat for energy. 😀

    Anonymous: Noted ! Will get ’em maternity pads ASAP. Thanks so much ! 😀

    Aida: Ameen, ameen. InshaAllah dear. 🙂

    K.Zurai: Hee, really ? Ok je ek, I’m panicking for nothing. :p Thanks kak ! 🙂

    Sugarmouse: I guess that’s the impression GH leaves most of us with, even for someone like me who works in one ! Haha. Thanks Mel ! 🙂

    JoeJane: Will try my best to remain as calm as I can. Hehe. And am gonna buy maternity pads ! Thanks so so much ! 🙂

    Ezlinda: InshaAllah, Ameen. 🙂

  6. u already week 30++??
    whoaaa. how time flies eh? congrats n all the best to u..
    2 kg baby? hehe. cute!
    cant wait for my next checkup n scan!! =)
    deliver kat mana?

  7. Amelyn: Yeah, time sure flies ! My belly’s huge now. Hehe. 🙂 Plan nak deliver in Batu Pahat but which hospital tu tak confirmed lagi. 🙂

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