Assalamu’alaikum everyone.

Hello. 🙂
I have not forgotten you oh dear blog. I just have been, erm, busy. Excuses, I know.

I have a little something to share with all of you.

Yes, I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with Khayla’s sibling. Alhamdulillah. 🙂
Indeed, Allah is the best planner.

Initially I did not want to make this ‘announcement’ because I know it might be hurtful to some. But after giving it much thought, I decided to go ahead with it because I wanted to share the struggles and what I did before I got my big fat positive (BFP).

I know Allah knows my intention.

So, Mr. Sunshine and I have been trying on & off for the past 1 and half years, after Khayla turned 2.
(Yes, on & off because there were times Mr Sunshine was outstation during my fertile period and due to a few other unavoidable circumstances.)

We took so long to start trying again because:
(a) I was still haunted by my first labour experience.
(b) We enjoy pampering baby Khayla. She will always be my baby ! Hehe.

It has been a stressful & tearful trying period !

I guess we took things for granted too, because with Khayla, we got pregnant the first time we really tried (charted fertile period etc), so we assumed it would be the same the second time around.

Boy, were we wrong !

It came to a point that I cried every time I read about anyone getting pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd (or 4th or 5th, hehe) babies.
It felt as if everyone around me were expecting except me !
I know, that’s far from true but that’s how I felt.

I would cringe about going to wedding receptions or family gatherings because I wanted to avoid people asking questions and/or passing insensitive remarks.

And to add salt to my wound, the O&G Specialist I visited in November last year told me that I might have PCOS from the ultrasound scan she performed on me.
Ignoring the fact that she told me that she has many PCOS patients who got pregnant, I cried or shall I say wailed for 5 hours straight after that.
My eyes were swollen from all the crying until the next day, haha.

Mr Sunshine, on the other hand, has always been on the more relaxed side.
He would say things like, “If you are unhappy or stressed, it means that you are not grateful for whatever we have now.” or “Kita kan happy bertiga so far, ayang tak happy ke ?”

Sentap I tau. Haha.

How did I find out we were expecting this time around ?

Mr. Sunshine and I decided to get ourselves thoroughly checked and we were hoping to explore our fertility options.
In the first week of March, I called KL Fertility Centre to make an appointment but they told me to call back on the first day of my period so that they could schedule the appointment on the 2nd to 4th day of my menses. My menses was due the week after that, so I figured it would not be such a torturous wait.

(I had actually previously made two different appointments, one with Klinik Pakar Medina and the earliest appointment we got was in June and another one with Klinik Dr Hamid Arshat – the earliest appointment we got was in August !)

So, I was ‘waiting’ for my menses to arrive while fasting (puasa qada) at the same time.
According to the period calendar, it was due on Tuesday, March 10.
But sometimes, my period arrives 1-2 days earlier or later, so on that Tuesday, I decided to continue to fast because I was left with only 1 day to qada !
I noticed that I was lethargic, sleepy and dizzy at work which was weird because I am usually so energized even when I am fasting (sahur dengan Shaklee kan, haha sempat !).
I also had this bitter taste lingering in my mouth but at that time, I did not suspect anything, I told myself that all the symptoms I was experiencing were due to the fact that I was fasting.

Alhamdulillah I managed to finish my puasa qada without my menses ‘raining’ on me that Tuesday.
I did not fast on the following Wednesday (March 11), BUT I had the same symptoms – I was sleepy, lethargic, felt dizzy at times, still had this bitter taste in my mouth but I also had some menstrual-like cramps.
I was confused because they are not my usual menstrual symptoms but at the same time I did not want to get my hopes up.
I decided to take a urine pregnancy test that evening, anyway.
I was used to it being negative so I told myself I had nothing to lose, if it was negative, I’ll just wait for my menses so that I can make the appointment with the fertility clinic.

But…..

Did ya see that ?
TWO LINES APPEARED.
Allahuakhbar !
I was speechless, I kinda panicked.
I ran to the living room, shivering and showed Mr Sunshine the test results.
I actually said to him, ” Ayang, ini macam mana ni ??”
That’s how surprised I was.

Of course Mr Sunshine was surprised as well, but his response was, “Hmm, janganlah mengharap sangat.”
I knew he was trying to save me from a heartbreak if it was a false positive.

I cried & sujud syukur anyway.

Did another test the following morning, and it was still positive !

I immediately called Daddy & Mak that morning to let them know about the positive tests.

That evening, after work, I stopped at D’Apotic Pharmacy to buy Clearblue pregnancy tests, both the digital & normal ones.
The digital one displayed PREGNANT, 2-3.

The test measures the levels of HCG and the 2-3 indicates weeks from conception, so we need to add 2 weeks to that for the actual weeks of pregnancy.

That weekend (March 14-15), we travelled back to Batu Pahat for my sister in-law’s engagement.
Although I was not allowed to carry heavy things etc, I was super exhausted throughout the whole weekend.

I was still exhausted the following Monday and that’s when I noticed pinkish discharge on my pantyliner. TMI, sorry !
I panicked and immediately went to see the O&G specialist at my workplace. A male one !
I usually try to avoid seeing male doctors but I did not have a choice that day.

He did a scan and while he confirmed that both my ovaries were cystic :(, he also saw the gestational sac in the uterus measuring 4 weeks and 5 days. Alhamdulillah.

The feeling when he said, “So, the pregnancy is confirmed.” was inexplicable.

I was given a one week’s medical leave to rest and go back for a check-up after that.

I tested a million times after that too. Paranoid, much ? Haha.

I continued to spot until about 11 weeks.
But so far, Alhamdulillah baby is doing good. 🙂
Please pray for us ok ?

It has been a pretty challenging first trimester.
Will blog about that in another post.
Will also blog about the things I did which I think helped me get pregnant, InshaAllah.

xoxo