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Category: work

i resign.

After 90 days of maternity leave and an extra day off, it was back to work for me last Monday. It felt as if it was my first day at work ever !
My memory of how to carry out work tasks were a bit fuzzy that day. Hehe.

I am currently recovering from a hectic past three weeks.
Marc and Linn were solemnized on Friday, November 11th, Alhamdulillah. Lene and I helped with the hantaran preparations. Their solemnization plans were kinda last minute, they got everything done within a month ! Phew ! Long story there, malas nak elaborate.
But Alhamdulillah everything went smoothly, and their reception will be held in February, InshaAllah.

Mr. Sunshine and I. 🙂

Faira, Aunty Maziey, Lene and I.

Alhamdulillah. Welcome to the family, Linn ! 😀

The newlyweds. 🙂

Family picture – Khayla was getting tired, hehe.

Starting work also meant that I had to send Dian Khayla to a nursery/babysitter. We found a babysitter prior to Aidiladha but didn’t have the time to send Khayla over for a ‘trial period’. So we started sending Khayla there last Sunday.
I was so fortunate that Lene was still on her hols so she came over to help me with Khayla because Mr. Sunshine was away in Seremban for the whole week.
Surprisingly, leaving Khayla at the babysitter’s was not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess all the mental preparation I had been doing worked !
Mental preparation – Repeat after me, “I have no choice, I have to work, and someone else has to take care of my baby. No two ways around it.” 
Just two days after taking care of Khayla, the babysitter sent me this:

I immediately broke down, my heart was aching to go pick Khayla up immediately. :'(
I can understand that it’s not easy looking after Khayla, I’m exhausted everyday. But to give up just after a couple of days is heartbreaking. Sigh.
Since that text message, my mind wasn’t at peace. I would go to work in the morning, wishing that it was 1700 hours already so that I can be with my baby again. It’s like I’m letting my baby be taken care of by someone who was not sincere. 🙁

Mr. Sunshine and I are scouting for another sitter, but as at now we haven’t found one. So we’d still have to send Khayla to the same person next week.
I’m trying my best not to worry too much. Not easy !

My situation at work is not helping either.
I haven’t blogged about this before because I wanted it to be a surprise but looking at how things are right now, I might as well just tell the whole world what’s going on. Haha. (fake laugh)
In June, I went for an interview for a Pharmacist post in UiTM and in August, just a week after Khayla was born, they told me I was offered the post in UiTM Shah Alam’s Health Centre. Alhamdulillah. Sounds exciting doesn’t it ?
Well, it was exciting until the director of the hospital I’m working at refuses to sign my pelepasan dengan izin application.
For those of you who don’t get it, I’m working under the Ministry of Health (MOH), so in order to work with UiTM, I have to resign from MOH and if I want my three years of service in the government to be accounted for, I have to apply to be ‘released with permission’ a.k.a pelepasan dengan izin. I can just resign because resignation does not need anyone’s approval but my three years of service will go down the drain.
I signed my resignation letter and pelepasan dengan izin application in early October and it hasn’t been signed by her. She (the director) has no power to approve my application, MOH does, but I need her signature as my Ketua Jabatan. Her reason is that I have to complete my compulsory service which is ridiculous to me because I am not trying to run away from completing it, I am trying to continue the service in UiTM. Recently, after pharmacists were allowed to shorten our three-year compulsory service to one, I thought that would make things easier but nooooo, she still insists that I have to complete my compulsory service first. Sigh. It’s absurd that after almost two months, my application hasn’t even reached MOH yet !
After discussing with Mr. Sunshine and Daddy, I have decided to just resign. Tawar hati dah !
My three month’s resignation notice ends on the 31st of December, so I’ll start work in UiTM in January, InshaAllah.

I hope I’m doing the right thing, I hope it’s what’s best for me. Ameen.

Things are so overwhelming for me right now, physically, emotionally and mentally. I’m such a mess ! *nangis*

xoxo

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partiality.

Thank you Allah for giving me the strength to fast for the past 6 days.
So far there hasn’t been any fainting spells, only occasional dizziness which go away if I sit or lie down.

Yesterday was the last Friday that I had to work before I give birth. No more working on the weekends ! Woohoo !
We welcomed two new Pharmacists to the hospital last week, one Provisionally Registered Pharmacist (PRP) and one Fully Registered Pharmacist (FRP).
Reshuffling of current posts is in the works.
I haven’t really figured out how I feel about all the changes.
Hmm.

If all goes well, I’m hoping I get to go back to Gombak for at least one night before heading back to Batu Pahat before my EDD. Daddy agrees that it’s a good idea to break the trip into two, so that we can rest in between.
Apart from that, I really want a chance to break fast with Daddy, Marc & Lene, since I didn’t have the chance to do so last year. 🙁

Uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions are quite common these days.
I can only imagine how real contractions feel like.

The weekend’s almost over for me, sigh ! Gotta get my mind ready for work tomorrow.
Bye.

Ramadhan blessing: The appreciative smile I get from Mr. Sunshine’s when he’s stuffed with the food I cook for berbuka.  

xoxo

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did they hear that ?

I am finding it hard to put into words how I am feeling right now.
It’s the sucky after-feeling of when you’ve maxed out your energy meter by building up so much anxiety for something.
It’s how your heart just can’t stop keeping still after that something ends, yet your mind’s just blank.

I’m not making sense, aren’t I ?

xoxo

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