page contents

Category: sunshine

raya 2009.

Hello, I hope it’s not too late to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
How was your Raya ?
You can read about mine here and here.

I know I am guilty of not updating often enough over here.
But truth is, there is nothing much to update all of you with.
Mr Sunshine and I have registered to attend our marriage course next weekend, InshaAllah hopefully we’d be able to make it.
I am planning to take next Friday off (I have been working two nights straight this weekend) to go to the tailor for our reception outfits, order our wedding invitation cards and hopefully go for our HIV test.
Which reminds me, I’ve been wanting to call the clinic to check on the duration of validity of the test.
Oh, I would also like to spend a bit of quality time with him, hopefully.I miss him. 🙁

Happy Raya everyone ! 🙂

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Share Button

the right person.

One morning as I was driving to work last week, the deejays to a particular radio station was discussing about finding the one.
She went on to say that the reason she’s not married at her age, is she has yet to find the right person. She does not want to ‘settle’. The issue received mixed reactions, some people called in to agree, and there were a fair bunch who disagreed too.
In my opinion, there’s no such thing as the one because nobody is perfect. We can go on with our lives looking for the right person, but it’s as if we’re so right ourselves. Get what I mean ?
I believe in finding a person who would complement your imperfections.
A person who is willing to jump in joy with you when you’re happy, yet hold your hands through the bitter times.
What do you think ?

Oh well, got this from a friend of a friend’s Facebook. Thought it would be the perfect time to share it with all you, regardless of your relationship status.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can “make”

love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

“God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.”

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Share Button

what’s yours ?

My favourite time of the day would be before I go to bed.
Because, even though we’re miles apart, that’s when I get to hear you. 🙂

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Share Button