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Category: health/wellness

i don’t want to be here.

Our modem decided to die on us last Sunday, so I’m blogging from my phone again.
We’ll get a replacement modem by Saturday. Well that’s what the guy at the IT store told Mr Sunshine.
No stable internet connection = no blog hopping = no Facebooking = no tweeting.
I was on medical leave yesterday and today because of this persistent headache that has been bugging me. For these past two days, I have been popping analgesics, rubbing axe oil all over my head and oversleeping.
I overslept to the extent I missed a call from my colleague this morning who wanted to check if I could come in to work today as her uncle passed away.
I only found out about it late this afternoon after I woke up. I’m feeling quite terrible now thanks to that. :'(
I have so much on my mind right now, but since I’m having my menses, I think it’s just my hormones taking me for a ride.
So I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.
xoxo

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dormancy.

Mr Sunshine’s on his way to Kelantan and will only be back on Wednesday. InshaAllah.
This house is all mine for the next two nights.

I’m alright. So far.
Alhamdulillah.
Work keeps me busy, and by the time I get back from work I’m usually so worn out, the only thing that I can think of is getting to bed.
Lately, I have been pretty swamped with tasks to complete at work that I sometimes have to bring my work back home. Hmm.

Last Saturday after I was done at work, Mr Sunshine and I decided to go to Mesra Mall, Kerteh to check out the newly opened TGV cinema.
We watched Magika because there was nothing else to watch. Hehe. But the movie was not too bad lah. 🙂
Since the place was new, we had no complaints. We sat through the entire movie with smell of new furniture around us.
Here’s Mr Sunshine with his cute Shin Chan pose in front of the cinema.

As you can see, he was not too happy about being forced to pose in public like that. Hehehe.

I am so inspired by a fellow blogger, Su’s weight loss success. I am so round (and flabby) right now, it’s not even funny anymore. I wish I had as much determination as Su has !
I am such a sloth.
If I don’t watch it, sooner or later none of my clothes would fit me. I do not want to look in the mirror and not recognize the person I see.
So, WATCH IT MELISSA !

Apart from work (loads of drama happening there but I am not in the mood to elaborate), my life’s pretty uninteresting in a good way. Get what I mean ?
Alhamdulillah.

xoxo

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oh no, not again.

Hello.
I am feeling slightly under the weather (again).
Must have gotten the flu bug from Mr Sunshine.
He has been unwell since last Thursday.
Last Friday afternoon, I drove more than half the way back to Gombak because of that.
Usually Mr Sunshine will be THE driver to and fro. Hehe.
We drove home to attend my best friend, Sal’s engagement.

Everything was so rushed.
Reached Gombak late in the evening on Friday, had dinner with the whole family at Cozy Corner, Ampang Park, then we dropped by Sal’s place to help around a bit with the preparations. The guy’s side of the family were expected to arrive at 1100 hours the next day.
On Saturday, both Mr Sunshine and I were at Sal’s place just before 1100 hours only to find out that the engagement ceremony had been postponed to 1230 hours.
So we stayed on and while I tried to be there for Sal and help in whatever I could, Mr Sunshine patiently waited on me in the living room. Love you sayang. 🙂

Alhamdulillah, the engagement ceremony proceeded and went on as planned. So simple yet lovely. Sal was so beautiful ! Their solemnization is planned for the end of July. I pray everything goes as planned. Ameen.
I am so nervous for her ! Hehe.

We had initially planned to drive back to Kuala Berang right after the engagement because Mr Sunshine had to work today, but then he so kindly agreed to stay back a bit longer to join my family in taking studio photos with Marc in his graduation robe. 🙂
We also had an ‘outdoor adventure’ photo shoot after that which was super fun even though it was drizzling. Hehe.
All of us had dinner at Hometown Yong Tau Fu, Wangsa Maju before leaving for Kuala Berang at about 2000 hours.
We reached home pretty late and the both of us were exhausted.
I went straight to bed without showering ! Haha.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat a blocked nose. Sniffing like nobody’s business, AGAIN !
I thought to myself that I possibly be sick again, not after last week, right ?
WRONG.
It was definitely a good move to take the day off today.
As soon as Mr Sunshine left for work, I drugged myself popped an antihistamine and dozed off.
After a sweaty (today is a hot day) two hours of sleep, my nose was cleared ! Alhamdulillah.
Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my throat. I hope these Dequadin lozenges work.

My mother in-law found out about me being unwell, and as soon as she did, she tried to call me numerous times.
When I returned her call, she sounded so worried, “Abah cakap Along cakap Lisa demam, Mak risau lah, itu lah telefon banyak kali, kena dengar suara Lisa jugak.”
OMG. How sweet is that ? I was so touched, I was almost in tears !
I haven’t had a mother figure worry about me since Mummy left. :'(
Honestly, my mother in-law is great, she really is. Kind, caring and understanding.
You would expect a mother in-law to be the first person asking you over and over (and stressing you out) about whether or not you’re pregnant, but no, she’s the type of mother who would tell you not to worry too much and leave things like that to Him. 🙂
Alhamdulillah. I am so blessed. 🙂

We’ll be heading back to Batu Pahat this weekend. InshaAllah.
I hope I’ll be OK by then. Ameen.

Pictures will be in my next post.
I need to get some rest.
Goodnight.

xoxo

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spotting.

My menses is three days early and I have no idea why.
This does not normally happen to me.
Hello ovaries, are you okay ?
I’m a bit worried because it’s more like spotting and since I am certain that I am not pregnant, spotting before a period could be a sign of uterine fibroids or polyps, ovarian cysts or cervical or uterine cancer.
Mintak dijauhkan. Ameen. 🙁

As written in my previous entries, I have been unwell since Saturday.
I had to take the whole day off yesterday just to recharge.
Sleep is the best medicine.
I’m healthy and happy now. Alhamdulillah. 🙂

Well except for the spotting. 🙁

I received my first pay from the hospital on Monday.
I have still been receiving my salary from JKWPKL since I left Hospital Putrajaya.
There’s a quite a difference between how much I have been receiving there and what I just received this month.
The Cost of Living Allowance (COLA) is less here because it’s a district hospital.
I wonder whether they took into consideration that most of the things and food here are more expensive than in Kuala Terengganu when they reduced it.
And RM500 will be deducted from my pay until November to pay back the ‘extra’ money JKWPKL has been paying me all this while I have been here.
RM500 is a lot ok !
In a nutshell, I am more or less broke for the next six months. :'(

Marc had his convocation yesterday and it sucks that I could not be there. 🙁
I am so sad that I did not get to witness my little brother up on stage with his robe, receiving his degree scroll AND the Vice Chancellor’s Award ! 🙁
CONGRATULATIONS MARC !!!
Awesome lah kau !

My best friend Sal (my beautiful hantaran maker) will be getting engaged this Saturday, InshaAllah.
After all that she has done for me for my engagement and wedding, I am a bit disappointed that I have not done a single thing for hers apart from calling her every now and then to check on her.
I am hoping to do the best I can to be there for her this weekend.

xoxo

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and or.

I survived a day at work even with a runny nose, a dizzy head and aching joints.
Alhamdulillah.

I might have been a bit slow processing information and getting from one point to another.
I hope they don’t see me as incompetent. 🙁
I just have mucus clogging up my brain. Haha.

I have a couple of serious decisions to make.

xoxo

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cimex lectularius.

I have ugly red spots scarcely spread all over my body.

It started a few days ago, and they’re slowly growing in number.
It’s gotta be the bed bugs from the comforter we’re sleeping on now.
Haha we’ve got a bed and a comfy mattress but we’re more comfortable sleeping in front of the telly every night.
After much whining from moi, Mr Sunshine sent the comforter to the laundry and dried our carpet out in the sun which only lasted for an hour.
It started raining while I was at work and while Mr Sunshine was at the car wash.
There goes the carpet. And he got the car washed for nothing.

Apart from itching all over my body, I am feeling slightly under the weather as well.
My head’s throbbing and I have been sneezing since morning.
I slept from the moment I got back from work around 1300 hours just now until almost 1700 hours. 
Postural hypotension is a familiar friend today. 🙁
I need to be well for work tomorrow !

Could these bed bugs be from the old furniture in this place ?
Sigh.

I’m gonna take a bath now.
Bye.

xoxo

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my friends-filled weekend.

The weekend has finally arrived ! Alhamdulillah.

My Thursday started with me not feeling too good.
Woke up with a sore throat, a runny nose and a head that would not stop hurting.
While I was on my routine ward round, I was suffocating in the face mask I had to put on.
As our wards here are not air conditioned and the male ward I was in charge of was fully occupied, it got pretty stuffy and hot !
I occasionally felt like I was gonna pass out, but I held on tight to the patients’ beds and took deep breaths.
My head was spinning but I did not want another medical leave.
I think I chugged down more than 1.5 litres of water in the morning only.

So I dragged myself throughout the whole day at work today bearing in mind that it’s Thursday and I get to go back earlier than usual.

Here I am, at home,  and surprisingly feeling much better. Alhamdulillah.
It must have been due to the over consumption of water.

Mr Sunshine and I were back in Gombak last weekend.
We actually had a wedding to attend last Saturday but we couldn’t make it due to last minute changes in that day’s plans.
I must say my time was really well spent last weekend.

On Friday morning, it was breakfast with Diana at Old Town White Coffee Taman Melati.

We talked about everything from marriage to buying houses to babies. Happy times ! Hehe.
On top of that, she gave me a lovely pink ‘instant’ hijab for my birthday.
Absolutely loved the colour !
Thanks dear ! :))

Then it was just bumming at home, watching telly with Daddy. Pure bliss.
That night after the brother got back from work, we (Daddy, Marc, Mr Sunshine, Linn and I) rushed to One Utama to catch Iron Man 2 !
IT WAS SUPER AWESOME lah ok.
I know some of you might be thinking otherwise and say that you prefer the first installment. In the words of Cher Horowitz, “Whatever !” *cue hand gesture*
I LOVED IT.
And I would definitely want to watch it again (if I am not living in this cinema-less Terengganu).

No family photos taken because we got there just in time and after the movie, I needed to pee so badly, snapping photos was the last thing on my mind.

On Saturday morning, I had breakfast with Annisa with McDonald’s at The Curve.

I received two tins of yummy Crabtree and Evelyn cookies from her ! White Chocolate and Rasperry cookies and All Butter Orange cookies.
They’re both super delicious, and finished. Hehe.
Thanks Ann ! 🙂
We hopped from McDonald’s to IKEA with hopes of sharing a plate of meatballs that I have been craving for. Much to our disappointment, they only start serving meatballs at 12 noon. 🙁
Ann was also pretty disappointed as she felt that her camera was not giving her good photos that morning, so we adjourned to Starbucks, Ikano Power Centre to snap some pretty shots.
We were at three places in two hours we were together ! Haha.

Then it was lunch with Mr Sunshine’s two sisters, Liyana and Syahieda.
McDonald’s again. This time in Shah Alam. Hehe.
That place has changed so much since the last time I was there, which was more than a year ago. Not bad.
After lunch, the four of us headed to Bukit Subang where Mr Sunshine’s aunt stayed for a visit.

The Curve was my next destination (again) after dropping off Mr Sunshine’s sisters.
This time it was to meet up with the Gombak Gang. :))
Honestly, I had mixed feelings about meeting up.
I was obviously very very very excited about seeing them after so long but there was also this silly fear of their reaction towards my new image.
I was nervous when Navin asked me, “How do we do this ?” because we usually kiss and hug each other whenever we meet.
But after that everything was alright, I was so touched that both Gan and him did not show any sense of them being uncomfortable with the fact that I cannot touch/hug/kiss them.
I knew I was stupid to even think about not being ‘accepted’.
These people are the people I have known for more than a decade, and we’re definitely not friends just because of how and what we look like.
I am doing what my religion commands me to, and I am sure all of them are mature enough to see that. 🙂
Alhamdulillah.
I am blessed to have these people in my life. 

We had dinner at Paddington House of Pancakes, then dessert at The Chocolate Lounge. :))
Too bad Judith and Trevor could not make it that night, and I wished I could have stayed on longer. 🙁

And then, it was back to depressing (and hot) Kuala Berang.
Sigh.

Thank you Mr Sunshine for driving me here and there over the weekend.
You’re awesome, just like Tony Stark. Haha.

Both of us have some major spring cleaning to do this weekend.
When was it ever winter eh ? Hehe.
This house is a pigsty.
I hope I remain well tomorrow.

Oh, if you’re curious about me or if you have anything to say to/about me, you can voice them out here http://www.formspring.me/melissaraffur

Ok, bye !

xoxo

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competency.

Looks like I won’t be making my way back to Gombak alone this month after all. 🙁
After much deliberation, both Mr Sunshine and I have decided that it’s best for me to stay put rather than trouble anyone here or there to pick me up and drive me here and there.
We also need to cut back a bit on the expenses this month as both cars are due for service.

It’s kinda depressing but it’s for the best, I guess.
I really really honestly miss my friends. 🙁
We will be going back at the end of the month (InshaAllah) to attend a mutual friend’s wedding.

The Clinical Pharmacist Documentation Workshop I attended last week has left me feeling rather stupid.
I do not think I am good enough to be a Clinical Pharmacist.
I can choose to console myself by thinking that it’s a learning process, but frankly speaking, I do not feel like I have it in me.
Depressing nya !
And this is just the effects of a documentation workshop.

Tomorrow I’d be attending a one-day Methadone Replacement Therapy Course.
 
I have been having this persistent pain on my right shoulder. It has been going on for more than a month now.
It’s perpetually painful, fluctuating in severity.
Today it was pretty bad. 🙁
People at work keep telling me to get a massage and get it fixed before it worsens.
I keep hoping that I wake up one day and it will magically go away.
Foolish, but..
..I don’t know.

I’m feeling a bit lightheaded.
Good night.

xoxo

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i need that drive.

Warning: Boring/whiny post ahead. 

It has been 2 and a half months since I got married.
Which means I have gone more than 2 and a half months without working out.

It has not done me any good, my clothes are getting tighter.
It doesn’t help that nowadays I eat every day, breakfast, lunch AND dinner.
Sometimes supper too !
I enjoy eating with my Mr Sunshine. 🙁

I don’t want to end up a woman who just lets herself go after she gets married.
Nor do I want to go back to how I looked like half a decade ago.

When I was looking like the above photo, people were still convincing me that I was not fat.
Can you see the amount of fat on my cheeks ?!
Eeee so fugly !

I have grown to look like this now.

It’s a good thing I’m all covered up now, so you cannot exactly see all the rolls and flab underneath. Haha.
 
It pains me to go through old photos of myself and to stumble upon photos like this.

Or this.

I desperately want need to go back to looking like that !

Not only for the sake of fitting into my clothes, but also for my own health.
I want to be fit and healthy for Mr Sunshine.
InshaAllah, when and if I have kids, I want to be able to play and run after them with ease.
I do not want to be panting after walking up one flight of stairs. 

Allow me to clarify, I am at currently still at a normal weight for my height, and I have an ideal body mass index.
My tops are mostly S or M in size.
But I still am not as fit and toned as I was before.

Gone are the days when I could exercise for two to three hours straight.
 
I tried exercising last Sunday, but I could not even bring myself to finish the whole DVD.
Although I probably worked a minuscule amount of muscle, my butt cheeks and inner thighs were so sore on the following Monday !
I used that as an excuse not to exercise.
And I only resumed exercising this evening !

Exercising twice a week won’t get me anywhere near my old body. :'(

I need more motivation.
I need that drive.

I love exercising and how it empowers me, but..

AM
JUST
SUPER
LAZY
lah.

HOW ?

xoxo

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hands.

I love Thursdays.

I love the fact that I get off work at 3.30pm on Thursdays.
I am not really enjoying the fact that I have to be working this weekend though.
Plus, we’re having sort of like a Family Day tomorrow, so I’d have to be at Taman Pertanian Sekayu after work.

I was on medical leave (yawn !) for a couple of days this week. Too lazy to elaborate on what really happened.
My hands are still slightly sore from the IV drip catheter insertion. Not to mention I have two insertion holes instead of one, because the they got it wrong the first time. It hurt so bad ok. :'(

See, the part circled in red ? Salah cucuk ! And yes, that’s my blood in the tube because I was moving my hand around without realizing the drip had finished.

Argh, I don’t want to go through this sort of thing anymore. I have VERY low pain threshold ok. 🙁

My first subscribed issue of Flavours magazine arrived in the mailbox today !

I can’t explain why I am so excited. Even flipping through the pages made my heart race. I wasn’t like this when Newsweek arrived. Crazy.
Haven’t received my Reader’s Digest copy yet.

Mr Sunshine and were in Kuantan last Friday to watch Alice in Wonderland in 3D !
I wouldn’t say I hated it, the visual effects were awesome. Although it did make me reminisce about the good old days, the movie was just okay for me.
Johnny Depp was such a hottie even as the Mad Hatter. Yum.

The henna on my nails is slowly disappearing.

Can I reapply ?
How else would people know that I’m hitched ? Haha, kidding.

I feel a headache coming on.
Sigh. I should lie down for a bit.
Bye.

xoxo

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