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Category: health/wellness

Mid December Life Update!

Tiba-tiba ada mid-December life update. 😆

I survived the past week by dragging my feet to work on most days. There were moments I broke down at work. But Alhamdulillah – what’s important is I survived.

I started walking outdoors again on weekends (or on days I do not have to send kiddos to school in the morning). I’m actually starting to remember why I loved it. Besides my foot hurting and being so focused on my pace that I got overwhelmed, I loved how the morning breeze & sun made me feel. I loved how I could listen to Al-Mathurat or zikir while I walked. This was also the time I used to listen to podcasts and sometimes a fun playlist.

On Wednesday, I had a tearful conversation with the kiddos. I was asking them whether I could borrow their money to pay off some monthly commitments. Argh, that was so depressing. 😭

On Friday, we received news that they are closing down the pharmacy where I work at.
And they are giving all of us one month’s notice.
A part of me felt liberated because working 6 days a week was taking a toll me (read: depression). But of course, I am also worried about losing an income source. Especially now. đŸĢ¤

I need to get a new job!

Last Friday was Khayla & Khaleel’s last day at school for 2023. I still can’t believe Khayla will be starting secondary school next year zomg!

And yesterdayyy I had a breakthrough, Alhamdulillah.
Remember how I shared I was struggling with acceptance?
Well, it has been a rough 7 weeks since then, but yesterday I opened up to a colleague at work. I briefly shared about my diagnosis and what I was dealing with. She was really sweet about it, Alhamdulillah. That made me decide that maybe I am ready to share the truth with more people. Without the shame, or maybe with little shame. đŸ˜Ŧ
Today, I told my sisters-in law. I have been avoiding their questions about my wellbeing for quite some time now (as I have with so many other people!). What a relief that they now know.

Also today, I met up with Kesten. She is the first human being to meet me in person since November. Well, apart from my family and people at work. She proposed something that would hopefully help my business grow. We’ll see how it goes. Will share more deets as we progress.

There you go, my mid December life update! 😊

Stay tuned for more updates, ecewah.
OK bye!


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It is almost 1 am, and here I am lying on my bed unable to fall asleep.

The left side of my face hurts. I think it could be trigeminal neuralgia, triggered by my (also painful) cold sore.

So much has happened over the past few years & months that I do not know where to start.

Maybe it is wise that I start by sharing that I am struggling with depression and anxiety.
And that I am having a challenging time just accepting that.

When my previous post was written, I was told by a friend of mine who is a clinical psychologist that what I have been experiencing was actually depression.

And that my anxiety (the reason why I went to see him), was secondary to that.

It made sense for a bit.

But then my super ego kind of brushed it away and kept telling me that it is not a definite diagnosis.

I can’t possibly be depressed.
You should not be depressed, Melissa.
I should be happy.
I must be grateful.
I should be….

Then, I was seeing another clinical psychologist fortnightly for psychotherapy who had suggested I meet with a psychiatrist. She implied that I might need medication to ‘quiet my brain’ (my phrase, not hers). ☚ī¸

With me currently working 6 days a week and then dedicating my only day off to my business, things were getting pretty rough.

I eventually decided to meet with a psychiatrist.

“You are unwell. You are depressed. And you have to accept it.”

I have to accept it.

Easier said (and typed) than done.

But it does make so much sense. Every single thing that I have been feeling, thinking and going through. All makes so much sense now!

Part of me trying to come to terms with everything is reading up about the symptoms & what I can do to help myself.

I plan to write another post on my personal symptoms – what it is actually like to be depressed. And how you can be around someone who is depressed and not even know…

Until then, I would appreciate your kind doa for me to get through this. And that I will actually have the strength to write another post soon.

I need to try to get some shut eye. Bye.


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MOGTT in Pregnancy

MOGTT stands for Modified Oral Glucose Tolerance Test and it’s basically a test to check on how our bodies regulate our glucose levels.
In pregnancy, it is used to diagnose gestational diabetes or diabetes in pregnancy.

Before I go on, allow me to share just a little bit on gestational diabetes.
Gestational diabetes is caused by our pancreas failing to produce enough insulin. Insulin is the hormone which regulates the amount of sugar in our blood and enables our body to store sugar that isn’t immediately needed for energy. In pregnancy, our body has to produce extra insulin to meet our baby’s needs, especially from about five months, when he is growing rapidly. If our body isn’t able to keep up, we may develop gestational diabetes. (Source)

MOH has made MOGTT compulsory for pregnant women who:

  1. Are above 25 years
  2. Has a family history of diabetes
  3. Experience abnormal weight gain in pregnancy

However, I do know people who have not had to take the test. So I guess it depends on the clinic you go to for your check ups.

I, on the other hand, have had the ‘privilege’ of taking the test TWICE this pregnancy and once when I was carrying Khayla.

I first took the test when I was 13 weeks and the second test was scheduled last week when I was 28 weeks.
Alhamdulillah both results were normal.

Results of the first test I took at 13/52.

Results of the second test I took at 28/52.

But in the second test, my glucose levels were higher as compared to the first one, so I am a bit worried. Need to control my chocolate intake. Hee.

The basics are you need to fast from 10 p.m the night before and get your blood drawn out when you reach the clinic in the morning. This will show your fasting blood glucose levels (FBS).

Then, you will be required to drink a glass of glucose water which is 75 grams of glucose diluted in a glass of warm water.

Alhamdulillah, so far I have not had trouble drinking the whole glass and I did not feel like vomiting or whatever, probably because of my sweet tooth ! Haha.

But that’s not the end of the test !

After that you have to fast (again) and wait for another 2 hours and then get your blood drawn out again. This will show your 2 hours post prandial (2HPP) glucose levels.

Normal levels would be:
FBS: < 5.6 mmol/L
2HPP: < 7.8 mmol/L

Pregnant ladies, please do not be afraid of this infamous minum air gula test as it is for our own good. You would not want to have gestational diabetes without knowing, kan ?
Because, untreated or poorly controlled gestational diabetes can hurt you AND your baby. Nauzubillah !

Until my next post, take care people. 🙂


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