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Category: emo

birth.

Happy Birthday Rasulullah S.A.W.
Salam Maulidur Rasul 1431H everyone. 🙂

I have just finished reheating what we had for lunch, for dinner.
We had chicken sambal, fried eggs with soy sauce and fried french beans with anchovies.
Haha, was just not in the mood to cook up a feast.
I’m so lucky Mr Sunshine is not picky when it comes to food.
A couple of days ago, I only made fried fish with soy sauce and brinjal sambal and he was complimenting me non stop. Now I’m starting to wonder whether he was sincere. Hehe.
He, well actually we, were literally licking our plates.
I guess we were both starving.

I did a bit of sweeping and mopping today.
I’m counting that as exercise.
These days the only exercise I’m getting is when I perform the solat.
But I do not think the combination of movements of the five times of prayers will even burn a serving of fries off.
-___-

I weigh myself everyday.
I measure myself everyday.
But I’m just plain lazy to do anything about both measurements.

But saya takut suami saya lari. 🙁

Hmm, but I guess there are just other more important things in the world to worry about.
Haha poyo nya.

Last Tuesday night, I got to know that Diana had a miscarriage. :'(
She was about 10 weeks into her pregnancy.
The sad news arrived before I could write about her happy pregnancy news when I found out about it on our way back from the induction in Trolak.

She went for her second antenatal check up, and they could not see anything when her tummy was scanned.
What’s more sad is, apparently the doctor she went to the first time had written in his notes that there was no heart beat.
I do not get why she was not informed about this. It’s just ridiculous !
It’s a good thing she decided to choose another doctor the second time around.

I can only imagine what she is going through at the moment.
It sucks that all I can offer is words of encouragement all the way from here.
I know she’s strong enough to pull through this. 🙂

I love you, Stumpy and I’m always here for you. *pelukk*

While we’re on the pregnancy topic, I have been receiving numerous comments and queries about me being pregnant every single day.
According to some, I seemingly exhibit signs and symptoms of a pregnant woman.
I refuse to take those remarks as compliments.
FYI, I AM NOT PREGNANT.
YET.
And the comments and questions are kinda stressing me out.
I am naturally fat, pale and tired all the time, OK ?

I know almost the whole world (let me exaggerate as I want, thank you) is getting preggers right now.
But it’s just not my turn yet. Both of us definitely want to have kids, but that’s not in our hands to decide, isn’t it ?
Asking me over and over again is making me feel as if I am an inadequate and imperfect wife/woman.

If and when I do get pregnant, InshaAllah, I will willingly and happily tell the whole world.
So, in the meantime leave me and my uterus alone. Thank you. 🙂

The rice is ready, time for dinner.
Bye !

xoxo

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on my own.

Ok so maybe I am not really enjoying being alone !!


:”””(

xoxo

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i need my own cheerleader.

I am very disappointed with myself.
The last time I exercised and broke a sweat was two days before my wedding, which was ALMOST TWO WEEKS AGO.
I wake up every morning telling myself that I will and must do so, but by the time I get back from work I’m either worn out or sleepy.
I am not planning to lose more weight (though I wouldn’t mind dropping a few more kilos), I just want to stay toned.
This is starting to get depressing.

xoxo

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shh.

I am secretly afraid that people would laugh at how fat I look in my wedding dress.

Ok there, I said it.
Bye.

xoxo

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nasty.

I have not been in a very good mood since yesterday afternoon. I do not know why, but the slightest things are making me cry and I have trouble stopping the tears.
As a result, I woke up and went to work puffy-eyed today. Yes, unlike most of you lucky ones out there, I am on call this weekend. I am not complaining though, in fact I requested to work this weekend.

Oh yes, Salam Ma’al Hijrah 1431H. 🙂

He went to Kemaman to get his motorbike, and is currently riding it back here.
I am extremely worried, I didn’t really approve of him doing so.
The roads are slippery since it’s the rainy season and it’s almost a 3 hour ride from there to here. :'(
A few minutes ago, he was at Dungun changing his tyres.
I think Mr Sunshine hates me right now. For being such a bitch to him these past two days.
I AM SORRY. :'(
Nak nangis lagi boleh tak ?

My menses are due in a week’s time so I’ve gotta be PMSing, right ?

I intended to write about what happened last weekend but this nasty mood of mine is getting in the way.

Later, perhaps ?
Ok, sambung nangis jom. :”””'(

xoxo

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hole.

I burnt a huge hole in Mummy’s batik baju kurung while ironing it last night. :'(

xoxo

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presence.

Today was not as easy as I thought it would be.


Please grant me the strength and patience to get through this. Ameen.

xoxo

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the last goodbye.

Dear (insert name),
I honestly do not appreciate the recent text messages from you.
Haven’t I made it clear that I want you to steer away from me ?
What is it that you really really want from me ? 
Forgiveness ?
I forgive you.
Even if your incessant apologies are insincere (don’t blame me, I never regained my trust in you after all those years), you of all people know how forgiving (and some might say foolish) I am.

But that does not mean things can go back to how they used to be.
Or that we can be friends.
I made that mistake and I do not want to turn back.

I hope you know that I am not praying for anything bad to happen to you or your family but you must also understand, while I was hurt I prayed hard that you will get what you deserve.
So may you get what you deserve, be it bad or good, not from me, but from Him. InshaAllah.
You say you want to be a better man in the future ?
Alhamdulillah.

But please just stop whatever you’re trying to do now.
I shall remind you again, we’re not friends, never have been. 
Thanks.
Bye.



xoxo

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what would you do…

…if you have spent weeks planning to attend something pretty important over the weekend, registered for it, booked transportation tickets etc. then you find out TWO days before, that on that very same weekend, there will be a two-day meeting at which attendance is compulsory ?

I want to cuss so badly right now.

xoxo

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issues.

I am not enjoying the fact that I am back at work and have loads of unfinished business.
Business that could have been settled if I did not choose to procrastinate.

But I am just lazy and full of excuses and I don’t think that’s gonna change anytime soon.

xoxo

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