emo Archives - Page 10 of 46

Category: emo

03
Sep
2010

i got you babe.

categories: emo, life, mr. sunshine, mummy I miss, notes to self

Hello.
I am having trouble falling asleep.
I do not know whether it’s because it’s that time of the month, or because I have became accustomed to feeling blue whenever Aidilfitri is nearing since Mummy left.

I am secretly afraid of not being able to programme myself to be happy around Mr Sunshine’s family at Raya. It’s not that they’re bad people or anything (they have been great, Alhamdulillah). But I guess this takes getting used to, because I have not even gotten used to Raya without Mummy around, plus the fact I have never been this far apart from my family my entire life.

Oh yeah, and I am having my period now which means I am not pregnant. Yet.
I know I have seemed pretty cool about it all this while but it’s really, really, really starting to get to me. Like, is there something wrong with me ? I feel like I am disappointing not only myself but everyone around me.
Mr Sunshine especially. 🙁

I am all torn up inside right now.

But as Mr Sunshine always say to me, “Semuanya datang dari Allah SWT.”
I know this is so cliche, but everything does happen for a reason.
So,
I shall try not mope around this year during Raya.
I shall try not to worry about things I cannot control.
I shall try not to take insignificant people’s words or actions to heart.
I shall try not to stress myself up over petty things. – This one is the toughest of ’em all !

I should be appreciating the fact that this year will be the first year Mr Sunshine and I will be celebrating Aidilfitri as husband and wife. InshaAllah. Alhamdulillah.
And that I still have my family around even they are miles away. Alhamdulillah.

This better be just my hormones messing around with me.

I’ve gotta get to bed, Mr Sunshine and I have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.
Goodnight.

P.S: Raya cookies status ? Almost gone. Hehe.
xoxo

31
Aug
2010

to doctor (insert name here).

categories: emo, work

You’re a doctor. You’re responsible for every prescription you write, every drug you prescribe and every patient under your care. But you choose to be ignorant, and when asked whether is there a reason why a particular drug was prescribed not according to standard guidelines (you do realize it’s my job to intervene to make sure a patient receives appropriate treatment, do you ?), you lash out angrily and tell people to fix the situation out themselves ! This is the third time you’ve ever done such a thing, and your rude attitude is nauseating. All the other doctors and even the specialists I have been dealing with all this while have been very well mannered. I wonder what use were all those years of studying and two years (yes, you’re just an MO, I believe you need a reality check) of working you went through.

P.S: This is referring to one particular medical officer, not the whole community, thanks.

xoxo

25
Aug
2010

they say time heals everything, but i’m still waiting.

categories: emo, family, mr. sunshine, mummy I miss

Happy birthday Mummy.
You would be 60 if you were still around.
And tomorrow, it will be 4 years since you left us.
I miss you so much that it (literally) hurts, especially since it’s halfway through Ramadhan and Aidilfitri is just around the corner. :'(

This will be the fifth Aidilfitri we will be celebrating without you. I just can’t lie,but things will never be the same without you around.
Daddy misses you. He’s doing alright, but he’s alone for most parts of the day. I hope my transfer application will be approved as soon as possible so that I can be nearer to him. Ameen.
Marc’s doing good. He’s a lot wiser now. You would be so proud of him, I know I am. He’s no longer naughty little Marc. 🙂
Marlene’s growing up to be a beautiful, smart and strong woman, just like you. She resembles you so much !
I am in the hands of a good man right now. Alhamdulillah.
It’s such a pity that he did not get to see how beautiful you were as a mother and a person.
I’m sure you would have loved him. He’s sweet and hilarious. 🙂
I have gained great new friends, and lost a few insignificant ones.
I have learned so much over these four years. Alhamdulillah.

There’s so much more that I want to tell you about.
I miss having you sit on the living room sofa and listen to me babble on and on.
Sometimes I have old videos with you in it on repeat just so I can listen to your voice.
I still cry myself to sleep at times, but Mr Sunshine is always there to the rescue. Alhamdulillah.

I miss you.
I miss you.
Al-Fatihah.

xoxo