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Category: babble

lunch and dinner.

Currently feeling: Flabby
Currently listening to: Nothing

I just had my dinner.
I had rice. Yes, rice. With chicken.
I was not planning to eat, I was already lying on my (thin) mattress talking on the phone to Mr. Sunshine when my housemates knocked on my door and insisted that I joined them for their late night dinner.
“Lissa jangan tidur lagi tau, kitorang nak masak, Lissa kena makan gak. Kitorang sengaja beli ayam banyak sikit, memang untuk ramai orang makan. Lissa kena makan gak !”

I also had rice for lunch today at the JKWP Pharmacy Scientific Conference *yawns* I attended.

So yeah, I am just hoping I would be able to squeeze into my kebaya this Wednesday.

Speaking of which, I am a bit sad that Marc and Lene are unable to be present to see me (all sweaty, I presume) in my convocation robe. Lene has her Literature in English paper that afternoon and Marc has to send her to school.
Daddy would be there, InsyaAllah. Akey said she would try to make it too.

I guess I can’t go to bed just yet.

I wish I did not have to attend tomorrow’s session. Blergh.

Nothing much has changed in my working environment.
I still hate it.
So it’s best that I keep mum about it.

I am anticipating a get together with my Gombak people next weekend.
I just hope I don’t break down in front of them, so I better make sure the word ‘work’ does not pop up.

Hmm, I love fried anchovies. Nyum.

I need Mummy.


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weekdays, be gone !

Currently feeling: Sad
Currently listening to: Be Strong – Fefe Dobson

I can’t believe it’s already Sunday.

I have been pretty occupied since last Friday.
Mr. Sunshine drove down to be with me on my hunt for a kebaya (for my convocation) last Friday, to watch Quantum of Solace along with Diana and her fiancee, Hanan that same night, plus to go to Eizera’s wedding and Annisa’s 25th birthday party yesterday.

I feel awful as I know he must be very exhausted from the all that travelling (and all the above), but I still had to put him through my sudden bursts of tears every now and then.
Oh sigh.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

I wished he did not have to go back.

I wished I do not have to work so that I could just follow him wherever he goes.
Now I know that’s a bit irrational, but I abhor my working environment so much that there is not a single moment that goes by without me thinking of quitting.

I am happy that two of my closest friends, Diana and Annisa have finally been introduced to Mr. Sunshine.

Quantum of Solace was not as good as Casino Royale, in my opinion. It did not suck though. Come on lah, how can it suck when it has Daniel Craig in it ? *drools*

I was glad to be able to meet up with some of my classmates at Eizera’s wedding, and to hear that most of them are actually enjoying their work.
Good for them.
The wedding was lovely.

Annisa’s birthday party was sweet although Mr. Sunshine and I had to make an early exit (we did not even get to eat the birthday cake !). Annisa was gorgeous as usual.
Happy Birthday darling !

Photos are being uploaded on my Facebook as I am typing this, and as I am not in the mood to resize them right now, I would not be uploading them here anytime soon.

need my Gombak people.
They always know how to lift my spirits up, even if it was just for one night.

I hate Mondays.
And Tuesdays.
And Wednesdays.
And Thursdays and Fridays.
*vomits blood*

Gosh, this blog is in dire need of a happy post.
Unfortunately I don’t see that happening for the next 11 months, at least.

Okay, bye.


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Currently feeling: Low
Currently listening to: Good Morning – India.Arie

I just moved in to my room in Presint 11 yesterday afternoon.
So this morning would be the first day of work on which I did not have to wake up at 5 a.m.
It is definitely much much much less tiring albeit the stress level being the same.
I go to work with Nor, another fellow PRP from UIAM who is a friend of my ex primary schoolmate. I think I mentioned that before, didn’t I ?
She (Nor) lives in the same building, just four floors below the floor I live on.

Work has been so-so lah.
The out-patient department is busy most of the time and I am so bloody slow in screening the prescriptions. Although some of the FRPs tell me that it’s normal to be slow in the beginning, I cannot help but feel like the dumbest person there.

Hold on.
There’s an incoming call from Mr. Sunshine !

OK. I think he is mad at me for not having anything substantial to eat today.
I had biscuits awhile ago and I am not the least hungry at all.
I had dinner yesterday and I still feel stuffed.
Plus all I can think of right now is going to bed.

It is pretty cool to have a room all to myself.
There are a few more things I need to buy for this room. But all that has to wait until I get my second pay. I have not even gotten my first, and there’s already so much future spending to do, and not to forget debts to pay.

OK, I am not exactly in a very good mood right now (when am I ever in a good mood, you might ask, but I do have my happy spurts).
I have realized that the more people I get to know, the more I learn that we are all surrounded by a good bunch of insensitive assholes.
It doesn’t matter how smart you are (or how smart you think you are), there is a HUGE difference between positive criticism and demotivating remarks.
You don’t just lash out at someone just because she’s soft spoken or not as aggressive as you are. You’ve got to face the fact that some of us are slower than others, not stupid, just slower.
And at your age, shouldn’t you already know that each and every one of us come with different characters and personality ? Not everyone are extroverts like you.
To see you undermining someone (who I happen to know all this while as quite a jovial person) to the point of them breaking down is absolutely absurd.
Are you aware about what other people think about you or what they say about you behind your back ?
You (and whoever’s in the same league) are just ridiculous.

Lene will be sitting for her SPM starting tomorrow !
I know she’ll do awesome. *smiles*
All the best little sister !
I know she’s 17, but she’ll always be my little sister.

Have a good week ahead, people.


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assistant head.

Currently feeling: Nauseated
Currently listening to: Nothing

On Monday, I was elected as the Assistant Head of the PRPs. Why they need an assistant head ? Beats me.

On Tuesday, my head did not hurt. It felt good. It was on that day too which I found out that the current tenant in the apartment I’m supposed to be moving into next month have decided not to move out. *straight face*

On Wednesday (today), our Pharmacy Department had a Jamuan Aidilfitri. I was responsible for preparing the drinks for the guests. Unfortunately, it was too sweet for their liking. *blushes*
Oh, my head did hurt.


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cranky spanky.

Currently feeling: Stuffed
Currently listening to: Nothing

Daddy, Marc and I were at Aunty Zainon’s place for her open house this afternoon.
I stuffed myself with all the cookies I could. I feel a sore throat coming.
Then I had Nasi Lemak (with fried chicken) Marlene brought back from her friend’s open house.
I am slowly ballooning back.

Two weeks have passed.
Another 50 weeks to go.
I was a total wreck last week.
Last Thursday I was so exhausted by the time I got back, that I couldn’t even bring myself to have dinner (my only usual meal I have) and even open my mouth to talk.
But I could still cry. Haha.
I’m thinking work isn’t too bad. *chokes*
Maybe it’ll just take some time for me to adapt to this new (stressful) environment.
I get headaches every single day. I am not exaggerating.
I am starting to worry about the amount of Paracetamol I am taking.
Maybe it’s the travelling that is wearing me out and making me all stressed out and cranky.
We’ll see how next month goes, if this cranky version of me (I feel so sorry for Mr. Sunshine for having to deal with my incessant whining and sobbing) is still around, then I am really not cut out to be working in this line.

Double sigh.

But I pray that HE gives me the strength and patience to at least get through this one year. Aamin.

I need a new white coat.
A new one that is not oversized and doesn’t get all crumply 5 seconds after ironing.

Mr. Sunshine is thinking of taking next Sunday off to go back to his hometown.
However shitty I feel nowadays, I am still fortunate and grateful that my family isn’t 8 hours away unlike his.
Poor him.
I miss him so badly I just wished I had a private jet to bring me to him every day. OK, OK, every week lah.
We don’t get to talk that often on weekdays, because I am too worn out to carry even a short conversation.
Even if we do get to talk, it will be me crying and not saying much. Crazy, I know.
I won’t be seeing him until Eizera’s wedding and that’s like a month away from now.

My convocation would be on the 26th of next month.
Which reminds me, I still haven’t paid my convocation fee.
Hajar and I are planning to take the two days prior to that day off, instead of just one day. Boleh ke tak boleh, nak cuti jugak !
I hope we will be allowed to do so.

I have been getting wedding invitation cards in my mailbox every week.
Hanif’s, Fira’s and Eizera’s. I plan to attend all three of their weddings. Ambil berkat. Aamin. Haha.
One of my ex boyfriends (of 1 week) during high school got hitched last week.
What if I told you people it will be my turn in less than a year’s time (InsyaAllah, Aamin) ?

I hope we get paid this month.
There is a probability that we won’t, but I hope we do.
There’s so many things I need (read: need, not want) to do that need cash.
I am so broke it’s not even funny.

Boy, I so love Saturdays.

Oh shit, I forgot to dry out my clothes I washed this morning.


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with all my heart.

Currently feeling: Okay
Currently listening to: Nothing

I hate work, with all my heart.

I love Saturdays, with all my heart.

I miss my boyfriend, with all my heart.

I miss my friends, with all my heart.


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hello, D.I.S., may i help you ?

Currently feeling: Flabby
Currently listening to: Nothing

Hi all.
As most of you already know, I reported for duty at Jabatan Kesihatan Wilayah Persekutuan last Monday and got to know that I was to be doing my one year training at Hospital Putrajaya.
Even though it wasn’t such a big of a surprise, I received that confirmation news with mixed emotions.
Apart from the fact that I knew I had to travel quite a distance from home, the fact that the last time I was there, I didn’t quite like the impression the hospital left on me.
Just thinking about it made me all jittery and I almost wanted to cry and beg so that I was placed anywhere else besides there.
Oh sigh.

I wake up at 5 a.m every morning, leave the house at about 5.45 a.m to take the first LRT to Central Market where I would get on the Rapid KL bus to Putrajaya. Some of the Pharmacists suggested that I take the ERL but for the time being, I don’t think I can afford to fork out RM 30 everyday.
I take about 3 hours to get back home from work, due to the traffic, so by the time I do get back, all I feel like doing is sleeping and taking the rest of the week off.
Standing for 3 hours in the bus/LRT is not a laughing matter.

I might be moving in to a room in Putrajaya itself but only in November.
Until then, I guess I just have to endure the rough things.

I am in the Drug and Poison Information Service for this first month.
I officially started doing work last Thursday as the pharmacist in charge was on leave until yesterday. So, I had to sit in for her. I was extremely nervous.
I took too long to answer my first enquiry made by a staff nurse that when I got back to her, she had already checked with the medical officer.
I do more than answering enquiries. Basically I was the operator of the Pharmacy Department, transferring calls to whoever and jotting down messages.
There’s also lot of paperwork to do.

The other PRPs are OK.
I can say that we all are getting along pretty good so far.
There are 13 of us altogether, including the 3 from UIAM who started in August.
They’re also friends of a primary school friend of mine, Marjan, so that’s cool.

I would be sitting for my forensics exam on November 3.
I know I am gonna fail.

I should stop worrying too much.

Mr. Sunshine just got a place to stay in Kemaman. And also a fellow PRP (who reported for duty last Thursday).
I am so relieved that he has a friend now.
But he is still not too well.

I don’t think I am cut out to be a pharmacist.
I am stupid and slow.
And I am constantly in a state of distress, worrrying about not being able to be competent enough.

I dread going to work.

Darn it.

But I am glad it’s the weekend !


*UPDATE: This post was edited on Wednesday, October 22, 9:07 p.m. to avoid any future mishaps. *laughs*


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prp in hpj.

Currently feeling: Stuffed
Currently listening to: Nothing

I am a Provisionally Registered Pharmacist in Hospital Putrajaya.

I am so nervous !

I had a real long day and I am extremely exhausted.

I am going to leave home at 5:45 a.m. for work tomorrow.

I am flabby.

I am missing my boyfriend who is down with fever and diarrhea all the way in Kemaman.


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meet the parents.

Currently feeling: Constipated
Currently listening to: Don’t Bring Me Down – Sia

It’s the 5th day of Syawal and I am at home, feeling sleepy and bloated.
I am recovering from a nasty flu attack I had. My throat is a bit sore and all phlegmy.

I just got back from Batu Pahat yesterday afternoon.
I was there to visit Mr. Sunshine’s family.
The whole experience was nerve wrecking not only because I was meeting his parents but also because that was my first time traveling alone for more than two hours.
I took the train to Kluang on Friday morning, which was a one and a half hour drive from where he lives.
He picked me up and I could tell that he was excited (and nervous) to see me. Comel OK.
From his stories of his dad being stern when he was a kid, I was preparing myself for the worse but it turned out his dad was pretty cool.
His mum was such a darling (and such a good host), it’s funny that I was at her house and I was not the only one being shy.
I only met one of his sisters. We didn’t talk but I thought she was sweet.
His 12 year old brother was good looking in my opinion and I kept teasing Mr. Sunshine with remarks like, “Adik awak handsome, kenapa awak tak eh ?” and “Saya nak tunggu adik awak lah, 12 tahun je kan beza.
*evil laugh*
We left his house early yesterday morning after he got all his stuff in his car as he was leaving for Kuala Terengganu after he drops me off home.

The family and I started our 1st Syawal with visiting arwah Atok’s grave (we visited Mummy two days before) in Seremban, then we were at Aunty Zainah’s hometown in Nilai for lunch.
We were in Shah Alam in the evening for an early dinner.
I was already having a sore throat (and a runny nose) which I think was due to the fact that I actually finished a whole container of tarts Adam gave me in two nights.

2nd day of Syawal was spent at Aunty Maziey’s place, as always.
Daddy didn’t come along as he wasn’t feeling too good.

It’s cool that I am still eligible to collect duit Raya this time around.

I am too lazy to upload photos lah.

As I am typing this, Mr. Sunshine is in Terengganu, currently driving from Kuala Terengganu to Kemaman as he just found out he is placed in Hospital Kemaman.
He is apparently not very happy about it.


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raya ?

Currently feeling: Melancholic
Currently listening to: Falling Down – Muse

I believe this would be the second worst Raya ever.
The first (which goes without mentioning), was the year Mummy left.
This year I am having a hard time pinpointing why I can’t seem to get myself out of this dreary state I have been in for almost a week now.
Maybe it’s because I have finally graduated and she’s not here to witness it all.
Not here to celebrate with me. With us.
Maybe it’s because I had some plans for this Raya as I thought I would be earning already. I have failed in realizing any of them.
I yearn to decorate the house with pretty Raya cards like we used to.
I yearn to have visitors over without having to worry about how the house looks like or what we have to serve. She would have had everything taken care of.

These past few days have been awful.
I am starting to feel bad for my neighbours who I am pretty sure are very sick of having to listen to the sounds of a girl weeping uncontrollably while talking to her boyfriend in the middle of the night (every night).

As at now, tears are overflowing already !
I am hopeless.

I just want to be left alone this Raya, please.

Anyway, hope the rest of you are and will have a good time.
Salam Aidilfitri everyone.
Have a blessed Raya.


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