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Month: August 2011

aidilfitri 1432H.

Salam Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin everyone !
Have a safe, joyous & blessed Eid. 🙂

And a very Happy 54th Merdeka day Malaysians ! 😀

Love from Mr Sunshine, baby Khayla & I.

xoxo

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sixty one.

Happy 61st Birthday Mummy.

Tomorrow will mark 5 years since you left us.
Al-Fatihah.

Allah is so Great, he took you away in the month of August and has blessed me with my beautiful baby Khayla in this very same month too.
She was actually due yesterday, a day before your birthday. 🙂

I want you to know that I miss you even more these days, with the birth of Khayla, and Raya just around the corner. All around the same time of your birthday and the anniversary of your passing. :'(
When I was going through the pains of delivering Khayla, my thoughts and prayers were always of you.
I am reminded of you when I stare at Khayla.
I think I am stuck with the baby blues because there are times tears would just fall down my cheeks for no reason at all.
Oh how I wish you were still around to see how amazing your granddaughter is.
She may look demure, but wait until you hear her cry !
It’s not easy putting her to sleep at night. But Daddy told me, “You won’t know the meaning of patience until you have a child.”
I wish you were around to give me tips and advice and help me bring up my daughter to be a beautiful person inside and out, just like you.
No matter how great my in-laws are, deep down inside, I still wish I could be with you during this period of confinement.
I am not gonna lie, it’s pretty tough putting on a strong face when my insides are all in bits and pieces. But I know it’s another phase I have to go through.

I wish I was as strong as you.

I miss you Mummy.
Al-Fatihah.

Ramadhan blessing: Having a mum and sisters in-law who would go the extra mile just to take care of me during confinement. Alhamdulillah.

xoxo

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the birth of dian khayla.

As some of you may already know, it all started with the bloody show on August 11th (Thursday).

It turned out to be a bloody long show.
I kept on bleeding the whole day that day.
At around 1300 hours that same day, I felt a gush of fluid coming out, but when I checked it was still mucus and a blob of blood.
I figured that it was about time I checked into the hospital.
We left for Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah, Kuala Terengganu at around 1420 hours and reached about an hour later.
I was advised to go straight to the admissions room, where there so many other expectant mothers waiting.
Can you take a guess what time I managed to get myself examined by the doctor ?
At 2200 hours !!
I was in the room waiting, with blood coming out of me, for MORE THAN SIX HOURS !!
Poor Mr. Sunshine who had to wait outside during the whole process. I got to accompany him during berbuka time in the car. (My last McDonald’s meal before confinement !)
Ridiculous tak ?
Ok ok I won’t start complaining.
Anyway, when the doctor finally did the VE on me, I found out that I wasn’t dilated yet and by using a speculum (OUCH !), she didn’t find any ‘pool of liqua’ indicating that I am not leaking amniotic fluid.
I was admitted that night.

Friday, August 12, 2011.

I had trouble sleeping the night before due to on and off cramps. No contractions, but there was still blood tinged mucus present.
Mum in-law arrived by bus from Batu Pahat that morning at 0630 hours. 
I might have soaked about half a pad with blood since admission. I had blobs of blood coming out too, whenever I went to pee.

0830 hours
A junior medical officer came to see me and told me that the blobs of blood was normal. He thinks that I can be allowed to go home that day and might only be going into labour in about 3 days time but he needed to discuss with a more senior colleague first.
He even told me that there was no problem with me wanting to go back to Batu Pahat that day to deliver my baby.

0930 hours
The same medical officer came along with another senior female doctor who told me I needed to stay another night just for observation.

1120 hours
I was lying on my side, replying smses from friends when I felt fluid gushing out down there. I sat up straight, and fluid was still gushing out.
Then only it occurred to me that my waterbag had broke ! I immediately walked to the nurses’ counter and told me what had happened and a few minutes later a medical officer performed another VE and a speculum test (double OUCH !!). It was confirmed, I was leaking amniotic fluid and my cervix was 1 cm dilated.

1300 hours
I wet my bed with my amniotic fluid. Thought things like that only happened in movies.
Contractions were about an hour apart. Pain was bearable.

2230 hours
My contractions were getting more and more painful, and they were 10 minutes apart. I was literally shivering in pain. A nurse performed another VE on me only to find that my cervix was STILL only 1 cm dilated ! I immediately broke down into tears and had to call Mr. Sunshine to come in for awhile. I just couldn’t comprehend how it could only be 1 cm dilated after hours of pain that has been getting more intense !

Saturday, August 13, 2011

0250 hours
My painful contractions which kept me awake were about 5 minutes apart by now. I was quivering in pain, reciting the Surah Kursi and doa Nabi Yunus over and over again.

0348 hours
A VE was done, my cervix was 4 cm dilated. The nurses told me they’re gonna wheel me into the labour room once I was 5 cm dilated. I was given a glycerin (Ravin) enema to empty my bowels. The nurses understood that I was in a lot of pain that they gave me the number to their counter in front and told me to call them when the pain gets worse.
I couldn’t imagine the pain getting any worse than that.

0430 hours
My contractions were getting unbearable. I called up the nurses, and to my relief, I was already 5 cm dilated. I texted Mr. Sunshine (who was waiting outside the whole time) and told him to get ready as I will be entering the labour room soon.

0500 hours-0830 hours
Mr. Sunshine was with me in the labour room. I was screaming in pain. Yes, I screamed and apparently I was the loudest in the room, according to Mr. Sunshine. Haha. I was twisting and turning on the bed which made it difficult for the doctors and nurses to get a stable heartbeat from the baby. They needed to know that the baby was alright before injecting me with any analgesics. I was already 6 cm dilated so it was too late for an epidural.
They injected me with Pethidine, a narcotic analgesic, which didn’t work at all for me. It just made me a bit groggy.
As a last resort, one of the nurses passed a nitrous oxide gas mask to Mr. Sunshine and told him to give it to me whenever I had my contractions. That worked better for me, although the pain was still excruciating !

0830 hours
I seriously felt like emptying my bowel, and I kept telling Mr. Sunshine that I couldn’t stand it anymore, I am gonna poop ! The nurse checked me and I was already 10 cm dilated ! Finally !

0855 hours – 0859 hours
She gave me instructions on how to push (which I could barely hear because I was high on Pethidine, haha). But I gave it a shot nevertheless, and I could hear the nurse telling Mr Sunshine to take a peek at the baby’s head which was crowning. She told me to push again, after performing an episiotomy, and with all my heart I pushedddddddd !
And out came my little precious gem !
And with that, all the pain disappeared. 
The nurse held her up and asked me to identify the sex of my baby, before cutting the umbilical cord and placing my baby on my chest.
Usually this is the moment where mothers cry at the sight of their newborns, right ? And you would expect a crybaby like me to wail, right ?
Believe it or not, I didn’t shed a tear ! I was so exhausted, I just smiled. Haha.
Mr. Sunshine held baby Khayla and recited the azan. It was such a beautiful picture ! 🙂

Alhamdulillah, Khayla and I were discharged from the hospital the following Sunday afternoon and made our way back to Batu Pahat with Mr. Sunshine and mum in-law on Monday morning. 🙂

Am currently at my in-laws, and will be staying here until the end of my confinement period, InshaAllah.

I’ll leave you all with a photo of our baby Khayla at 5 days old.

Ramadhan blessing: Having Mr. Sunshine here with me for the first half of my confinement period. Alhamdulillah.

xoxo

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