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Month: November 2007

still searching.

Currently feeling: Melancholic
Currently listening to: How’s It Going To Be – Third Eye Blind

I just got back from an outing and dinner with Farhan, one of my exes during high school.

Before I start rambling, let me start off by wishing Miss Fifi a very Happy Birthday !!
Hope you had a good one. Loads of hugs from me !

In less than a month from now, I would probably be acting like how I was a week ago.
I would probably be tempted to do what I did a few days ago.
It’s not that I have not told myself time and time again that I should not let myself sink together with the wreckage.
This shouldn’t be so bad. I have witnessed worse.
I have been through worse.
So what the hell am I still doing here ?
Time and tears that have been wasted can’t be replaced.
Let this be a reminder.
I shall not falter, again. I shall not !

Disappointments happen when you expect too much.
I should try to go easy on the expectations.
Let you breathe.
Let you be you.
And take it from there.
Leave room for mistakes, we’re all human.
Expectations aside, what if it’s you that I just can’t take ?
Is good enough really good enough ?
Should I just settle for that ?
Shouldn’t all of us be seeking the best ?

I have realized that I don’t like anyone to dictate what I should or should not do.
And if I did not ask you for your opinion, it means I just want you to listen.
I cannot take it if someone else has the thought that they own me.
No one owns me.
I am no one’s property.
I don’t belong to anyone, except myself. Oh, and Allah S.W.T of course.

I have also realized that, I haven’t stopped searching.
Which is not such a good sign.

You used to be so caring.
Now I don’t even hear from you. Even when I do, it’s just, different.
To think that you used to say that nothing can come in between us, no one can replace us. Or something along the lines of that.
Oh well, people change.

Change is not always good.

I know that God’s will will be done, so I lay down my pain and I’m moving on.

Oh by the way, the outing with Farhan (and a friend of his) was good.


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headache again.

Currently feeling: Pained
Currently listening to: 30 Seconds To Mars – The Kill

This head of mine feels as if it’s gonna explode.
I don’t wanna rely on analgesics.
And I can’t sleep. Not at this hour. Tak elok.

I’m gonna watch Enchanted one of these days with the sister.
I wanna go have lunch with Cheryl too. Could probably do both on the same day.

I can’t think.
I’ll continue in another post I guess.


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Currently feeling: Okay
Currently listening to: Better – Brooke Fraser

My phone died for almost an hour this morning. At 3am in the morning actually.
I don’t know what happened but I couldn’t turn it on at all.
Freaked me out a bit.
Then, all of a sudden there was a beep and it was on. It’s trying to play tricks on me I guess.
It’s fine now.
Maybe it’s a sign that I should get myself a new phone.


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